Something original

The Pre-Exam Gitters

2011-12-10T01:21:00.000-05:00

It's exams time! At least for university students, it is. What I would give to go back to high school, grade nine to be precise. Actually, I would like to go back to grade six.... that was a great year! But it is interesting, at least to me, how far I have made it. Now, it's up to me to not fail at life now that I am in the real world - kind of. I am not bitter, I just NEED to make myself see the hard facts. If I don't, I will fall... and not in the literal way. I feel like I am my worst enemy. I am the one that is standing in the way of my own success. Or is it just that chemical that I am assuming is missing from my brain? Do I need pills? Is that that the solution for my inability to focus on things for too long? Well, I don't want it to be. But, what do I do otherwise? I don't want to sound dramatic, but sometimes I feel like I am drowning in my own thoughts... I have a thousand and one thoughts racing through my mind now... It could be the exam stress. Or it could be what I fear the most. It-that-shall-not-be-named.

Anyway, after completely bombing my first exam (physics, yay!), it would be fair to say I am VERY nervous about my Chemistry and Psychology finals tomorrow... I should be studying, and I was, until I looked at the clock and remembered my tradition of writing these blog posts at odd hours of the night. So here I am.

I have finally taken a liking to tea! I am actually relieved that I won't have to depend on coffee to get my caffeine fix during exams, etc! I hate that stuff. And energy drinks are most definitely off the table; I could do withOUT wings, I think... at least, for now. I like this now band called, Foster the People. They can make some good music!

And one that humourous thought, I bid adieu. Have to get back to studying!

~Sai~

It's Kind of a Funny Story

2011-07-30T03:40:00.000-04:00

First off, I think my OCD is kicking in because the title of this entry is driving me crazy - it does not start with a "The"!! (Hey, I never claimed to be a completely sane person.)

So, I started reading this book called, "It's Kind of a Funny Story" by Ned Vizzini. I think I like it. I'm not very far along but I did find something quite significant to me in the few pages that I have read so far. It is that the main character, Craig, has this notion, caused by depression - which is in turn, also the seed of his depression - that the person he is now is not him... "I want there to be a shift so bad. I want to feel my brain slide back into the slot it was meant to be in" (Vizzini) The Shift is the one thing that Craig is waiting for; it is the one thing that, when invoked, will return his old self to him. Or so he thinks.

It may sound silly to some, but I, too have been waiting for my Shift. All of senior year, actually. I learned it the hard way - just like Craig evantually will, I think - that you can't find your Shift. You have to learn to come to terms with that... Then, go create your own Shift. My Shift was spending all of July taking a Physics course (out of all subjects, Physics??!)

Also, I couldn't go to sleep without writing this post. Which is why I am still awake at this godforsaken hour.

The New Chapter... Almost.

2011-06-30T23:31:00.000-04:00

It's almost here. It's been 18 years in the making. At 10:35 tomorrow morning, I will be 18 years old. Today's my last day as a child - by legal terms, anyway.

I went for a bike ride today... and I don't think I'm ever going near that bike again. I think my bike wants to kill me - or just physically hurt me really bad.

I just got to thinking... if my blog lasts that long, on this day two years from now, I will be reminiscing and moping about the end of my teenage years. I'll probably be done with my second year of university.

A truth I have to admit is that I have (almost) never been in a hurry to grow up. The brief period in my life that I was, was when I was 14 years old and wanted to watch Twilight in the theater with my friends - I had to beg my mother relentlessly. However, I don't regret it at all. Not because I really wanted to see that godforsaken movie, but because I felt so good inside at the thought of being grown up, free, and independent. That is still the one part that I still want, I suppose. I have never said this out loud, but my dream - more like a vision - is that, in the future, in which ever career I am in, I want a quaint (I love that word!) apartment flat of my own in a typical tall downtown residential building, with a big glass window in the living room. After a busy day, I would just sit by that big window, with a good book and soft music playing in the background, and occasionally glance down at the bright lights that shine from the cars of people hurrying home to their own families.

Today, just as I take that step into adulthood, I remain emotionless. Just like when my Senior year started, or when I got accepted to university or even when I went to my Senior Prom - just yesterday =). I suppose my mind just needs to catch up with the hectic *thing* that is life.

The next time I post an entry, I will be a legal adult. It's not like I have a choice in this whole adulthood business, so I shall take it one day at a time.

The Countdown Begins.

2011-06-13T00:31:00.000-04:00

Hello, blog!

So, in exactly one week I will have my first exam. Nervous? No. THAT is why I'm worried. Why am I not freaking out yet? I will be doing my flipping final exams in a week - 7 days, 168 hours, 10,080 minutes!

Why is time moving so fast? In a couple of weeks, my childhood will be behind me and I will be hit... no, punched in the face and kicked in the stomach, with the harsh realities of the "real" world. This type of freaking out does not count towards my freaking out, or lack of, about exams, just FYI.

As I type this, I *hiccup* have hiccups. I am peachy. *hiccup*

~5 minutes later~

I got distracted and decided to Google hiccup remedies. Found this: http://www.cognitial.com/hiccups.shtml. Tried it. It WORKED!! =D They are gone!! =D

Going to sleep now.

The First, parte deux.

2011-06-08T03:30:00.000-04:00

HAHAHAHAHA. my life is a joke. It's almost 3:30 in the morning and I'm still not asleep. So, this is insomnia. I really should have put myself as a "P.M. Person" on my residence app. I pity my future roommate... If I get into residence, that is. Another thing to add to my list, "Reasons Why You (me) Are a Stupidhead". Sigh. This is not me, I promise. Would the real Me, please rise... I'll use superglue so that I'll never lose Me again, or rather, the rational, studious, and focused part of me, ever, EVER again.

I feel like I'm in the clouds... Or is that sleeeeeee--

The First.

2011-06-08T00:14:00.000-04:00

So, I'm a blogger now. At first, I thought that I would either be too late or too cliched for making this blog. But I got to thinking, and finally said, "screw it, I'm going through with this either way," and here I am... writing my first entry, at 12:14 am on a Tuesday night... wait no, Wednesday morning.

I am not new to talking, or "writing" to myself. I make video blogs... for my own viewing of course... but, I must say, this feels a little strange. I can write anything that I'm feeling... and maybe a person somewhere, near or far, would possibly read it, and maybe relate? This is actually kinda cool! Why didn't I do this sooner?

What else do i write...? I guess, my inspiration for starting up this blog is from a few old Xanga posts by Philip Wang and Wesley Chan of Wong Fu Productions.

So, I should probably go now... I do have that whole studying and stressing routine that I have to wake up for early tomorrow.

Seesya! =)
~Sai~